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Stepdad acts like true dad

By DAVID La VAQUE, Star Tribune, 10/03/11, 10:24PM CDT

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Rashad Cohen has always considered stepdad Chris Cohen his father, and is taking the steps to legally cement that bond.


Rashad Cohen and stepfather, Chris Cohen

As a fifth-grader at Poplar Bridge Elementary in Bloomington, Rashad Warren invited his mother's fiancé, Chris Cohen, to participate in his school's "Bring Your Father to Lunch" day.

Students wrote paragraph-long tributes to their fathers and Rashad's included how much he loved going out to eat or shopping for clothes with Cohen. It began, "I love my stepdad. He is like my real dad."

Three years later, Warren asked to take Cohen's last name. Within the next few months, they plan to solidify their relationship when Rashad, who recently turned 18, is adopted by Chris.

"Ever since I was younger [people would say] he was my stepdad," said Rashad, Minnetonka's standout senior running back. "Now with adopting, it just makes it more official. It doesn't change anything; it just makes it stronger."

For years, Chris, who is white, and Rashad, who is black, have referred to one another as father and son, and acted much the same.

Chris, a physical education teacher at Minnetonka and the Skippers boys' track and field coach, took Rashad for long weekends. They shared meals, worked together on the football field and track and talked about life and what it means to be a man.

For Rashad, Chris grew from friend to mentor to stepfather. Dropping the "step" prefix feels like a natural next step. No date has been set -- they are waiting until after football season -- but all agree that adoption is a moment long in the making.

"Chris has already taken on the role so it just makes sense," said Rashad's mother, Katrice Cohen.

'A little clone'

Rashad was 2 1/2 years old in 1995 when his mother moved him and his sisters, Lakia and Lakesha Gordon, from Iowa to Bloomington. Katrice met Chris soon after. But she waited six months to introduce her friend to her children.

By the time Chris and Katrice got married about 10 years into their relationship, the bond between Chris and Rashad was well-developed.

They spent weekends together and football was often the focus. On Friday nights, Chris worked as an assistant coach at Minnetonka while Rashad helped out as a ball boy. Saturdays sometimes featured Gophers games. Sundays were all about the Pittsburgh Steelers; Chris raised Rashad in the same black-and-gold tradition bestowed on Chris by his Pennsylvania-born father.

When Rashad began playing football, Chris, a former running back, taught him the position. The youngster listened with his ears and his eyes, choosing to wear No. 20 and high socks just like Chris.

"He was a little clone," Katrice said.

This fall, with Chris cheering from the bleachers, Rashad has led the Skippers' rushing attack. His 435 yards and five touchdowns helped the team to a 4-1 start.

Before each game and after each touchdown, he points to Chris, Katrice and older sister Lakia in the stands to show thanks for their unwavering support.

Chris played football for the Gophers but Rashad has plans to run track in college. As a youngster, Rashad practiced triple jumping into the sandpit at the local playground.

"We'd get the tape measure out -- 'Hey, 9 feet!'" Chris recalled with a laugh.

But in Rashad's debut in the hurdles, which was Chris's former event, he tripped on the first hurdle and face-planted. Katrice gasped. Chris jumped over the fence and rushed to Rashad's aid. A cut on his knee was the only mental or physical damage.

"He has that thing you can't really coach to come back and do it again," Chris said. "I bit it once in middle school, and I didn't want to come back for a year and a half."

As a sophomore Rashad placed fifth in the 110-meter hurdles at the Class 2A meet. Last season, he qualified for state in the 110 and 300 hurdles events but failed to reach the finals.

He hopes for redemption this spring, by which time Chris and Rashad plan to legally be father and son.

Making it official

By virtue of being the family baby, Rashad became attached to Chris as a father figure. As he grew up, he's emulated Chris away from sports as well.

"He didn't do drugs or drink in high school, so I've never done those things," Rashad said. "I wanted to follow in his footsteps."

Said Chris: "We've spent time talking about some of those deep issues that are sometimes hard for even biological fathers and sons to talk about."

When Rashad asked to have his last name changed from Warren to Cohen, the teenager cried happy tears when the court approved his request.

Though his older sisters did not change their names, they also refer to Chris as their father. Two years ago on Father's Day, the siblings gave Chris a scrapbook entitled "Our Journey," featuring heart-felt personal notes.

Recent marriage difficulties between Chris and Katrice have not changed his bond with Rashad, their adoption plans or Katrice's support of the idea.

Rashad waited until turning 18 in September to pursue the adoption because of his biological father's protests of his name change three years ago.

Lakia, who has yet to miss one of Rashad's football games and calls herself his No. 1 fan, gives the adoption her blessing.

"If that makes my brother feel more part of his family and more of his son, then I think it's a great thing," she said.

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